Every Day I Joggle… Like the Man Next to Me…

I was educated that I need to joggle on daily basis with all sorts of tasks. And it always seemed fun to do this. I noticed since very early age this constant pendulation of mom from bathroom to kitchen, from clothes to the playful cooking machine, from one room to the other and always with the thought for the others. I wanted to become this busy bee as she used to be because she seemed to be my hero. 

On the opposite side, starting with dad, the man next to me has always been quite cerebral and has tried to take things one at a time. He always proved to me that he could make things better this way. It became sort of frustrating. But mom would take me by her side and told me that us, women, are always amazing exactly because we joggle with all these tasks and that we can do what "they" do even better. 

Unfortunately things didn’t remain as mom would present them. Unfortunately capitalism brought each employee o challenge that our body is not yet fully prepared for. Tasks continue rising. Panic is bigger. 

In the new context, as a woman, I try to joggle with all the tasks at once like in a loom. While he knows how to take each project at a time and not become stressed… Until the corporation hits him too. But still he knows how to fight for his life beyond work. I stress, I panic. He has sorted everything out and he carries with dignity a cross he knows how to even hide behind a smile and a detachment. 

Work lays ever more pressure on “the ant’s shoulders", and they, men, start to joggle just like us with multiple tasks. Maybe they weren’t taught to do this, but they manage to handle it. And I watch simply amazed and fascinated by the calm and the adapting capacity. 

I become histerical and try to eliminate the stress and frustration I feel towards the "unjustice-hero" and his companions, but he remains always calm and knows how to treat things with diplomacy. 

He learns to sustain his point of view with arguments, and I raise the histeria. 

Everyday, personally, I wish to be more the man next to me. 

At the end of the day I wish to become the lady in distress… To find him, the man next to me, who can save me… Who can explain to me once again that things must be taken one at a time so you don’t mess them around… And that’s how I fall asleep calm with the solution my dad always had for the trouble me or mom made… take each task at a time…. The thought, that the man next to me is still different than me, gives me hope… 

Everyday I Become More the Man Next to Me

The society we are living in has taught us that women need to take care of themselves. But ironically enough, we weren’t raised to take care of ourselves. My mom and my grannies have always taught me that girls should wear skirts, dresses, and constantly be preocupied by making things more beautiful and taking care of the household. Yet all these teachings got lost somewhere along the way. 

From the recent years’ experience, from a close observation of the opposite sex, it always seemed like HE provokes me to be in a constant competition with him. But judging things even deeper, I believe that the competition with the opposite sex has started from early school days. They could be relaxed and comfortable with themselves, and we had to be posh, wake up earlier, stay stiff in our perfect outfits. And why? 

So one day I decided I had to succeed in being just as cool and nice as them. And I believe it was also a man who told me a secret in the unsatisfied 16th year of my life. He told me that it doesn’t actually matter how you look, but how the others perceive you. And if you are the ugliest person, but to your audience, you are very sure of yourself, you will be percieved as beautiful. I looked at him and I suddenly saw all his flaws beyond his self-confidence. And then I understood the secret of the opposite sex is exactly this self contentment. They had their own uncertainties at that age, but they somehow knew how to behave "like men". And since then I learned attitude is the one I have to race with. 

Now if I think deeper into it, I realise that my love for trainers, basketball trainers and other sport shoes is coming also from the admiration toward them, the ones who manage always to impress through self confidence, through trust and powerful gestures. And I decided that in a man’s world it’s not necessarly good to wear high heels, to be helpless and to be a constant cry for help. It’s not in their genes to take care. At least not in those I see around me. Yes, my father used to help mom walk on the street, he knew how to hold mom by the hand, to offer her his strong arm and to make her feel good for being helpless. But there aren’t such men in a world in which us, women, constantly fight for equal rights. They don’t fight to show us they can take care of kids and they can clean up the house. For all these they have Master Card. In cooking they are for sure much better than us. 

And I believe the competition has continued when it came to the technical revolution. I noticed how my best friend had a safe place among guys because she mastered this new field called technology. So, I had to know something about that. It’s not ladylike, but it’s nice and pleasant to be there in the middle of discussions. And their discussions would always be relaxed, without passion or egos. They are always at the same level. There’s no rooster in the conversation. 

And there are a few more things that we stress about too much. Men have a style, that no matter where they go, who they meet, what they talk about, they don’t mind laughing. Us, women, we try always to be aware of how we laugh, why, about who, if the subject is according to our mood and so on. 

And the mood for us is a very severe thing. We are actually constantly unhappy, discontent, willing for more. And I wonder why can’t we just be happy with what we have? I mean what can be so bad that we cannot be thankful for what we have? The cave will become empty? There will be no more provisions?

Hey, but we could go hunting! If they can do it, why couldn’t we?

Every day, with every new challenge, I am becoming more the man next to me. And it seems sometimes that my shadow becomes manly. And that doesn’t seem like a good challenge. I like the man next to me to be in flash and bones, to have a firm voice who knows to impose some limits to my oscilant behaviour, to know me when I am mad and to know his part is more important than my competitive play. But I believe it’s very hard to admit we are vulnerable and we need a little guidance in life even at this age. We are proud, while they know that if today was not a good day for hunt, tomorrow the sun will shine again. To us the sunset seems the end of a cycle, and the empty glass is getting dry at the end of a cycle, otherwise you waste a good wine. 

This constant move is becoming tiring! Let’s admit it, we are trying, but it’s not always perfect and it’s useless. They will always be next to us. Closer or further their part is essential. I would take off my hat, but I would be just like them, so I will take a bow and hold my hand up for a gentle kiss and I will close by hoping those who will read these lines will understand the essence of the destructive fight of our society.